Does It Get Any Better Than This?

Today marks the tenth day of Blogmas. Fifteen days of my thoughts, with some Christmas cheer sprinkled in.

I have been working at the same grocery store for three years; through these three years, who I am and the way I interact with others has fully transcended. You might wonder how I can tell that I've changed. To that, I have a simple response: I can tell through the interactions of others and the way they choose to seek me out. Before, I was quiet and well-liked, but now people, whether they be coworkers or customers, gravitate towards me and my energy. I have customers that come in regularly who I chat and laugh with. I'm also quite famous with the kids that come in because I carry the magic with me. Aka a box of stickers.

I have three younger girls who each seek me out to give me a hug when they see me, and if that isn't the absolute feeling of joy, then I don't know what is. Each time one of them sees me, it's almost like they light up, and it makes me feel that light inside of myself, too. They look up to me in a way, and it's incredible to even think about the impact I have on them.

Sometimes it's scary knowing that people are watching me, especially since it makes me feel the need to be hardworking and smiley all the time while making it look effortless. Even to the point where I have had people ask me if I'm ever sad, but they don't need to know my truths. They don't need to know that it's hard carrying this weight of sunshine on my shoulders.

There are tradeoffs to being looked up to and admired. I question what it will be like once I don't work at the store anymore. Will I get to say goodbye to all who sought me out, or will they simply never see me again and wonder where I went? Will I be a blimp in their memory that slowly fades away? Only time will tell, and if anything, it won't tell me.