When a Plan is Set in Motion

Today marks the fifteenth day of Blogmas. Fifteen days of my thoughts, with some Christmas cheer sprinkled in.

Look at what we have here, fifteen days and quite a few emotions later. As you may know, today marks Christmas Eve, and here I sit at my desk, wondering what I'm doing here. Sitting in my Christmas sweater with the cookies I brought sitting on the front table. Working on this day honestly breaks my heart, which may confuse you about the decision I'm about to inform you of.

On Wednesdays, I typically work from eight in the morning till five in the afternoon. So I planned to work the same today, even though it's the day we know as Christmas Eve. As I attempt to create sticker designs, nothing flows through, and it all looks and feels meh to me. I look over to realize that I missed a call from my boss, of course I immediately call her back. This is when she gives me the option to leave at noon, rather than staying till my usual time of five.

I don't believe that I even considered it because I already had it in my head what was going to happen. Sure, maybe I'm not bright and cheery sitting here, but I will paint you the two scenarios that I myself pictured.

First, we have the scenario of me working my usual shift. I sit watching Christmas movies while I work on designs and respond to emails, even writing this blog post. Maybe not that exciting of a time, but it's time to myself, and sometimes I need that. Not only that, if I stay and I will get paid my usual amount, and it will keep me on track with my inner clock. If I happened to go home early, it might make it harder for me to work next week. I don't want to make things harder on myself.

That's one scenario; I will now show you the other pathway that my brain takes me down. If I left early, I would go home and run my two miles. Figuring that my mom is constructing gingerbread houses, I would probably want to stay out of the kitchen. With my dad at work, it wouldn't be family time since half of the family wouldn't even be home. I would be tired and in bed, watching movies.

Maybe I'm thinking too much, and anytime with family I get is good, but I only have so much energy to extend. I want to use it wisely. I am already becoming more tired by the day. Instead of turning into a big ole pile of nothing, I need to be aware of the effects of the activities I partake in. Life is short, and I am already tired, so sometimes I pick the option that isn't obviously the best. Oh well, that is life, making decisions that aren't clear cut.